


Don't cry, kid, you're not alone

by miikkellsen



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 06:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6069448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miikkellsen/pseuds/miikkellsen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were thinner, that was obvious from a quick look. Thinner and slightly taller. Their face had a lot more freckles than it did back inside the vault. Their hair looked dirty. They just looked like your typical wastelander, dead look in the eyes included.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't cry, kid, you're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything in my life but I've just had this idea stuck in my head for so long I had to do something about it. It's horrible and I love it.

The sun was starting to set, bathing the mostly dead-looking environment in an almost pleasant orange light. The wind was starting to chill and blowing softly. Riley was trying, with little result, to keep their hair out of their face. It had gotten too long in the few months they had spent in the wasteland.

“You need a haircut.”

Butch Deloria, who they had found that morning in The Muddy Rudder, was walking a few paces behind them, annoyingly dragging his feet on the old asphalt of the road.

“And you need to stop walking like that before you eat through the soles of your shoes.”

When they met that morning, they somehow managed to have a mostly pleasant conversation. Riley offered Butch to travel together, seeing as their fellow vault dweller didn’t look like he was managing too good on his own. Butch had counter-offered Riley to join his gang, never one to just accept other people’s help. Riley decided for some reason to agree.

And so they set to Megaton, with Riley’s promise of an actual bed and clean water, and Butch’s insistence that he was still the leader of the gang, even if he was following Riley now.

 

* * *

 

The trip had been quiet until they crossed the river and started getting closer to the town, when Butch started getting bored of the silence and began asking questions. Most of them were meaningless small talk.

“So what’s exactly is it you’ve been doing in the wasteland since you left the vault?”

Others, not so much.

“Mostly, running around like an idiot.” Riley didn’t really get into that. It was too soon.

“Weren’t you following you dad or something? What happened with that?” Why was Butch _still_ pressing the issue, wasn’t it obvious Riley didn’t want to talk.

“I was.” 

“Talk in Rivet City was that some doctor was trying to fix the water in the Capitol or some shit, and I’m pretty sure that was him.” 

“He was.”

“So what happened. Cause the water sure as hell isn’t clean.”

“He died.”

“Oh.”

Butch stopped talking after that, not like Riley would’ve answered any more questions.

 

* * *

 

Luckily for both of them, Megaton came into view, and not long after they were climbing the steep stairs to Riley’s little hovel.

“Well this certainly isn’t what I was expecting.”

“I’m sorry princess, but I don’t exactly have the resources to get anything better.” They were being mean. Mean and bitter. And it wasn’t really fair because Butch didn’t know and he hadn’t meant to be bring that up. But it was too soon and Riley didn’t know how to cope or react or behave anymore.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Butch mumbled. Riley acted like they hadn’t heard.

Riley grabbed the key out of one of the outer pockets of his backpack and opened the door. Wadsworth said hi from one of the back rooms in the ground floor, and then started asking it’s owner about the trip. Riley ignored it and walked to the pantry, Butch following.

They tossed him a bottle of clean water “Here, the sink has water too, but it’s irradiated.”

“T-thanks.”

Riley turned to the shelf and started grabbing things. They didn’t have the best ingredients, or were even good at cooking them, but what little they were able to make that was edible was certainly a lot better than the leftover food from the old world.

“Need any help?” Butch wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act. Both of them had already lived in close quarters and had shared domestic situations in the vault. But somehow this felt different. The atmosphere their earlier conversation had left wasn’t helping.

“Stop fiddling with the bottle and drink it, you’re so dehydrated your lips are chapped.”

“Okay.” He’ll take that as a no.

“Just- go sit down and drink that water.” They really weren’t being fair to Butch, but they didn’t really know how to react either.

Riley turned back to the frying pan with the unknown meat and vegetables, trying to at least not get it burned. Butch went back to the main room and sat on a chair next to the only table in the room.

The place was sort of… empty. Not like furniture in a good state was something you could easily find in the wasteland. What he had seen of the house had the minimum to be habitable. But it was also lacking in personal effects, something that made the house look like there was actually a person living inside it. It gave gave an impersonal feeling. 

Still, it was better than any dirty room in Rivet City.

Riley appeared shortly after with two steaming plates, setting one in front of Butch and sitting down with the other in the chair in front of him.

“It’s not the best food you can get out there, but at least it doesn’t have much radiation.”

Butch looked up from his plate and smiled. “I’m sure it’s way better than anything I’ve been eating since I left the vault.” 

 

* * *

 

They ate in silence, and for the first time since they left the vault, Butch got the chance to take a good look at Riley. 

They were thinner, that was obvious from a quick look. Thinner and slightly taller. Their face had a lot more freckles than it did back inside the vault. Their hair looked dirty. They just looked like your typical wastelander, dead look in the eyes included.

In fact that was what caught his attention the most. Riley had never really been an overly cheery person, but know they just looked… empty. And tired and sad and done. The outside world wasn’t kind to anyone but Riley seemed to have taken specially bad to it.

Not like losing all the family you have left and having to fight for every bit of food is something anyone would like.

But they had always had that little spark in their eye. A drive to fight and keep going. To survive.

And now it was gone.

Before Butch could dwell any more on how their childhood rival was refusing to pick fights with him and banter and argue about literally anything, Riley got up picking their empty plates and leaving them back in the rusty sink in the pantry.

“I think I have some clean clothes I can lend you to sleep,” They were already climbing the stairs to the first floor, Butch got up quickly, trying to catch up. “that jacket is so dirty it changed color-” Riley turned suddenly, giving him an amused look. “-I can’t believe you’re still wearing it.”

“Hey man! Leave my jacket alone, it’s cool.” Butch couldn’t really get angry at that. It was a shitty attempt, but at least Riley was trying to pick on him.

“Yeah, yeah… Whatever you say.” They were smirking. It was a nice look on them. “Look just- grab whatever you can find that fits, there’s gotta be something, somewhere.” They were pointing at some very old and flimsy looking office cabinets. “I’m going out to have a smoke.”

“Wait what. Since when do you-”

Riley was already out the front door.

Butch turned again to the cabinets. There was a dirty mattress that had definitely seen better days next to them. He started going through the drawers, trying to find some clothes.

The first drawer had two guns, one of them pretty rusted, and some ammo clips and loose bullets. The second was a mess of caps, pencils (most of them broken), used papers, an empty bottle and more junk you could find anywhere in the wasteland. Why Riley had a drawer just for trash, Butch had no idea, but the skinnier kid had always been a bit of a hoarder, so it was probably something he should’ve expected.

It’s in the third drawer where he finally finds the clothes. There’s not much to choose from, so he just grabs the first t-shirt that looks big enough, some pants that have the knees ripped, and a hoodie that was too long on the sleeves.

He’s about to close the drawer and go get dressed when he sees a hint of leather at the bottom hidden under everything. He pulls it, not really knowing what to expect, only to find his old Tunnel Snake jacket. The one he gave Riley right before they left the Vault what seems a lifetime ago to follow their dad.

It smells clean and definitely looks better than the one he’s wearing right now, but still worn and used, as if they had tried very hard to keep it in one piece despite the extended use it had lived. 

It’s a stupid meaningless thing, but knowing that Riley kept and cared for his jacked, after all they’d gone through, makes Butch ridiculously happy.

 

* * *

  
  


Riley sits on the platform that supports their house, feet dangling in the air and forehead resting on the railing.

They had finished their cigarette a while ago, but the thought of coming back inside fills them with an inexplicable dread they don’t really want to analyse.

They aren’t avoiding Butch. Really, they are not. It’s just that- He’s familiar, too much. He reminds them too much of the Vault. Of the life they had, the life they could’ve had. Of Amata and Jonas and everyone they left behind.

Of Dad.

When they hear the door opening and closing, and Butch’s steps coming close, they realise their eyes are starting to water, and hastily try to dry them before anyone can see.

Butch silently sits next to them, feet dangling in the air and forehead pressed against the railing.

After a quiet moment, Butch opens his mouth to speak.

“My mom died shortly after you came to the Vault that second time. A nasty cold that became something a lot more serious after the air filters broke.” Butch stopped, taking a shaky breath. 

“I think that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Like, I had been looking for an excuse to left the Vault after you and your dad did, and when I lost all that was tying me there, I was free to go.”

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I still wonder sometimes if I should’ve stayed, despite everything that had happened.” He was speaking much softer, his voice barely above a whisper.

“But you know what, what’s done it’s done and we have to keep going with our lifes, advance and grow and learn.”

“I don’t want to be alone.” Riley’s voice was shaky and there was no stopping the tears now.

“You’re not.” And with that Butch grabbed Riley’s hand, holding it softly. “I’m here now. And you can talk to me any time you want.”

“I- I don’t-”

“Nosebleed you’re my friend, despite everything that’s happened.” Butch paused, thinking. “No, actually, probably thanks to everything’s that happened.” He was smiling at Riley. “You can count on me now.”

“Thank you.” They were rubbing at their eyes with the sleeve on their other hand, trying to dry the tears.

“Let’s go inside, it’s getting cold.”

And so they walked into the little metal house together, hand in hand, and feeling a little bit less alone.


End file.
